Motherhood

Most people who read this blog know that our sweet little boy was born, Kayden, was born on March 18.  That is the reason I have really fallen behind on this blog, so I apologize.

I had an experience the other day though that I thought would be fitting to share on this blog.

I was putting Deagan down for a nap and was holding Kayden, who was sleeping, at the same time.  Deagan was laying down in his bed, and I was sitting in a chair next to his bed rocking Kayden.  I sat there and looked at both of them in awe.  I have two kids now!! It is so crazy to think! I can't imagine my life without these two little people.  They are the reason why I do the things each day.  I can't believe that Heavenly Father trusts me this much to take care of these sweet spirits.  As I was thinking this I felt the weight of my calling as a mother, and I found myself recommitting myself to being the best mom that I can be.

But not all days are perfect, and I am not a perfect mother everyday; like today.  

I feel like I am in limbo.  I still am not "cleared" to do any housework or lift Deagan or stuff like that.  At  first this was such a great thing, but I kind of feel like I am in limbo.  It is sad to admit, but I am actually looking forward to doing laundry again, and that is saying a lot because I hate laundry!

I kind of feel like I am going stir crazy, and when that happens I find myself falling into a rut of feeling useless.  I hate feeling this way, and have a hard time getting out of it once I am in that mode.  One thing that does help is to look at my boys and to realize that these two are my purpose right now, and my day revolves around taking care of them.  To some it might not seem to attractive, and honestly sometimes its not, but it is where I am at in life right now, and Deagan and Kayden make it all worth it.